Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Poop... Everywhere.

 Yesterday i relayed this story to Chase via chat while he was at work. I thought the whole world should know how much fun being a mom is when your baby learns how to control their appendages.
(Forgive my habit of run-on sentences. I was typing in one long breathe.)

me: I was feeling a little sick so I took a nap and woke up to Oak crying . He reeked of poop, so I got him out of his crib and I brought him downstairs to change his diaper. 
2:56 PM First off-  it was not like a regular poopy. It was a monument of poop bigger than any poop pile i have seen in my life. He must have been wearing a Mary Poppins diaper, because i don't know how all that fit inside.  it was a mountainous pile of diarrhea like a foot deep. 
2:57 PM So, I start to pull out a wipe with one hand and I'm holding his legs with the other hand and he starts to kick.
2:58 PM He kicks so forceful, he pushes through my grip and kicks both his legs INTO the large pile of poop coating his feet and legs with brownish green and pushing poop onto me.
 Chase: oh my gosh
 me: The whole time I'm screaming and yelling for him to stop and to hold still but he is laughing and kicking and splashing poop everywhere. 
  I finally got a hold of his legs. And I take a large breathe cause its a huge mess and laugh a little bit cause it's kinda funny if i didn't have poop all over my arms.. ...But he's not done yet.
2:59 PM So then as I am attempting to clean him up with wipes while my own hands are covered in poop,
3:00 PM he reaches his hand through his legs lightning fast and scrunches his fingers multiple times IN THE POOP before I even can register what he's doing.
3:01 PM then as i am trying to pull his hand out, there goes the other one!Now, both of his hands have handfuls of poop in them as i am wrestling with his legs to stop bouncing. 
  So I finally manage to grab his hands out and now i am holding both his hands and his legs that are STILL kicking and all of which are covered in poop.  And like as if anything could get nastier, he wiggled his hands free and wiped poop all over his chest, face and floor. So now he was laying in poop, covered in poop, and laughing cause he thought it was so funny.
3:02 PM Finally, i just gave up.
  And tossed him in the bath.I think he had a secret agenda to get in the bath all along.Chase: Well, at least he's happy :)